SPOILER ALERT!!!
I just began reading the book Sisterhood Everlasting by Ann Brashares. It takes place about 10 years after the fourth book, Forever In Blue, which I recently finished. The book reveals that the Septembers' friendship fell apart after the pants were lost. This made me extremely sad. They were the perfect group of friends, and it seemed like they would be friends forever. But how could they drift apart?And why did they?
Maybe the pants were part of their problem. The Septembers became so dependent on the pants to connect them all, especially during their freshman year of college that they could've forgotten how to connect without them. The pants had become their friendship. They didn't work as hard to stay together with the pants- the pants did it for them. Maybe they thought their friendship would become stronger over their mourning of the pants.
Maybe they just didn't know what it was like to work hard for a friendship. They were given best friends from birth, they grew up with them, and it was simple. They never had to earn each other's trust or work to become friends. hey didn't need to spend their time bonding because it was already done for them. Their friends were already set out for them, and maybe that's why they don't know how to work hard for a friendship.
I think this shows how we use things to bind friendships and relationships. Like if you had an old painting you and another person worked on together, you might talk about it. The painting would give you a cause to talk or be friendly. But without that old painting, your reason to speak to them is gone. If you lose what's keeping you together, then you're obviously going to slip apart. We use these physical markers to remind us how much fun we had at one point, but we need to remember to live for now and not for what happened. Instead of speaking about how many great times we had, we should try to recreate what was so great about those times. Instead of binding friendships by things, bind them by the memories made. It's better that way because memories are hard to forget, especially our greatest ones.
QUESTIONS? RESPONSES? PLEASE COMMENT!!!!!!
Hi Sarah!! I agree with you and also think that you can't depend on the past when you're in a friendship because you aren't growing on it. And if you don't build that relationship in the present it won't really go anywhere.
ReplyDeleteSarah, I really like your post. I agree with you 100% that sometimes if you only have "things" in common, you won't really have a friendship at all. Friendships are based on history not a piece of clothing or an object. Great post! :)
ReplyDeleteI love this post! i totally agree! i think that a lot of times people are "supposed to be friends"'cause of family relations and such. but i think that a lot of times people grow apart, and that becomes hard to accept when you have that unforgettable bond forcing you together. i recent;y read a book where these two friends were growing apart, but they had saved eachothers lives, so they couldn't really not be friends. i think acceptance of this is a big part. this is an awesome post. love it :)
ReplyDeleteMary
I think that this is completely true! Many of us do use physical markers to keep a friendship alive, even if they aren't legitimate ways to have a real camaraderie. Memories are the only true way to bind a friendship. I think that if you know that the major thing securing your friendship with someone else is a memory, then that friendship is gonna last a long time.
ReplyDeleteI really like your post since it is so true. It's amazing how hard one actually has to work to keep a friendship going but with all that hard work, thats what makes the bond even stronger! Too bad too many people treat friends or a friendship for granted since that would definitely lead to splitting apart no matter how strong that bond once was. Great job!
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